The Old Ways Aren’t Working Anymore

Have you noticed? I sure have. I see it in my life and in the lives of those around me. The old ways aren’t working anymore.

What do I mean by that?

It means that our habitual default ways of relating with the world and each other aren’t working.

The new high frequency energies that are coming to our planet right now are making it very difficult to keep doing the same ol’ same ol’. The old ways can’t tag along for the ride anymore.

If I allow myself to go into stress mode for very long, my body doesn’t just talk to me. She screams at me. She tells me to stop it in no uncertain terms.

And if I try to force or push or make something happen, it doesn’t work out. It feels hard and heavy and is frustrating as shit!

Now I can keep doing that and keep feeling that way OR I can be curious about what a new way is instead, one that is in more flow and alignment.

I am disengaging from discussions where I’m not being understood instead of trying to prove my point or get someone to get me. It is wasted energy to do that when there isn’t an opening for it to land. And I am doing it with love and compassion for all involved instead of judgement. The old way doesn’t work anymore.

Even how I am relating with people is shifting. I am being asked to be in my heart even more and do what love would do even more.

So my invitation for you is have a look at what isn’t working in your life? What habits, relationships, and perspectives aren’t serving you and are ready to shift?

And are you willing to be curious about what the new way is instead of trying to figure it out? For me, when I get curious without attachment to an outcome, the new way reveals itself to me in perfect divine timing. Just sayin’.

Much love,


Harnessing the Power of Love

Photo by Kelsey Kimmel

It hasn’t been an easy month in the Lane household. My hubby, Tom, injured his back 5 weeks ago and has been in a lot of pain that has prevented him from carrying out functions of daily living, never mind not being able to work. It has been hard to see him in pain physically, emotionally and spiritually.

We’ve been feeling all the feels – sadness, anger, fear, disappointment, frustration but they all circle around to love and compassion.

As I sat on the end of my bed this morning hugging our girls, I felt such love and gratitude for the amazing beings they are and that I get to be their mom.

They have kept me laughing throughout it all and are my inspiration for continuing to remain curious instead of having to know how this is all going to play out.

I know I’m not alone right now in living with big challenges that have cropped up. In speaking with my mentor, Jennifer Hough, she reminded me that the speed of consciousness right now is requiring us to come more and more into alignment, stop carrying others and really take a look at how we are living. What isn’t in alignment is coming up to leave, is asking for changes to be made as we are no longer going to be able to take incongruence along for the ride.

And the more we resist making changes, the bumpier the ride and the more suffering we are going to feel.

I am seeing it all around me – people I know having major challenges; A woman’s husband going to jail and her not knowing how she is going to pay her mortgage despite working 6.5 days per week, people losing their homes to fires, people having loved ones suffer significant injuries in accidents.

It doesn’t minimize my current experience but it does give me perspective and I see what is being asked of us.

We are being asked to harness the strength inside of us, to take our power back and not believe we are victims to life. Life is happening for us and not to us, even if we can’t see it.

The other option is to feel helpless and hopeless and keep asking “why is this happening to me?”. It’s a choice and it is also how we give our power away. It keeps us stuck in the problem instead of moving energy on it.

Now don’t get me wrong, I had moments of asking that question and feeling that way. You bet I did. But I didn’t stay in them because I saw very quickly that it was getting me nowhere.

So I felt those feels, let them move through me and then came to a place of calm. I asked “Now what? What is there for me to do?”

What there was for me to do was to take care of my husband and my girls, take care of myself, ask for and receive help from my cosmic helpers and my human friends.

I have asked to be shown my way through this all and I’ve been listening. What has presented is me renewing my physical therapy licence and doing some coverage this summer. What has presented is working on my coaching business and creating offerings that have been asked for for some time now.

I have been getting on my yoga mat every morning and walking in the ravine when I can. I have been connecting with friends because my pattern is to turtle and be a lone wolf when things get tough.

And I’ve not only been listening to my intuition but acting on it. The past few days have really shown me how important it is to do that.

Above it all, I know that we are being taken care of and that I am not given what I can’t handle. I have the strength to do what is needed, whether I want to or not. We all do.

Flow isn’t about life being all unicorns and rainbows. Flow is about moving in the direction that life is guiding you, moving with the universe.

A lot of the time, it isn’t to my ego’s liking and preferences. So it’s not about everything being easy and happy. Of course there are moments when it is.

The totality of being in flow encompasses how you navigate all of what life is bringing to you. It is accepting what comes your way instead of resisting it and then asking “Now what? What is there for me to do? What can I do?”

It is being in co-creation with the universe, each taking reciprocal dance steps one at a time instead of trying to make things happen all on your own and needing to know the 10 steps ahead.

What has helped me the most and kept me in universal flow?


When I feel myself going into control mode or worrying, I say to myself “Come back to your heart”. When I feel frustrated and begin asking “why?” again, I come back to my heart.

Love is always the answer. It is the way.

I often ask my higher levels to help me expand my capacity to receive. This experience has cracked my heart open even more which allows me to both give and receive in a greater way.

It has allowed me to love more of me and at a deeper level than ever before. I am accepting and embracing more of the parts of me that I deemed not ok and not safe to be as a child.

As far as strength goes, love is the most powerful energy there is. As long as love leads the way, fear can’t take hold.

So my learnings over the past month have been about being in my heart even more, listening to my intuition even more, taking care of myself even more and owning my power and strength even more to move through whatever comes my way.

It has been weeks of not knowing how this is all for me and now I finally know why.

Much love,


How are flow and values related?

Photos by Janelle Ivey

My wedding day truly was one of the happiest days of my life! There were many reasons why but one of them is that Tom and I were in a state of flow.

Everything leading up to the wedding, came together seamlessly without worry or stress. The first store I went to, I found my wedding dress. I bought my flowers from the first florist I met and we had our reception at the only place we looked at. And I loved them all!

I had people surrounding me whom I loved and loved me. I couldn’t stop smiling on our wedding day. The emphasis was on connection and fun, not on any obligations or “shoulds”.

Flow occurs when you are in alignment with your values, what is true for you and I believe that is why our wedding was so flowy (is that a word?).

Tom and I stayed true to what was important to us and let go of what was not, even if it ruffled some feathers or wasn’t according to expectations of others.

I love these pictures because they exemplify what is important to us and what is not.

I bought my shoes for $20 at Payless Shoes. I can hear some of you gasping but here’s the thing. Shoes don’t mean a lot to me. They never have.

Maybe it’s because growing up, my shoes consisted of soccer cleats, track shoes, running shoes, flip flops and ballet shoes. Who knows? But I would have rather spent the money on a great meal or a visit to the thermal baths on our honeymoon in Italy instead of on shoes that I likely wouldn’t wear much. So it wasn’t that I was being cheap. I just didn’t see the point in splurging for shoes that don’t have value for me.

Tom wore cycling socks on our wedding day. It was aligned with a sport that we both love and that he is truly passionate about. It is something we value in our lives so bringing it into our wedding day in the form of socks was fun and truly aligned.

About a month ago, I was in a low and crunchy state, definitely not in flow. When I had a look at what I was thinking, feeling and doing, guess what? None of it was aligned with what is truly important to me and what I know to be true for me. No wonder I was experiencing so much resistance!!!! Kind of the opposite of flow.

So now when I am not in flow, one of my go to questions is “Am I in alignment with my values, with what is important to me and what I know to be true?”. If the answer is “no”, then I re-connect with my values and make the changes that are necessary.

Just a little something to ponder if your days aren’t feeling very flowy:)

Much love,


Are you getting half-assed rest?

I did a FB live on this topic this week and wanted to share it with you because I think it is a topic that is quite common.

A few years back, I had the realization that I wasn’t receiving the rest that I could be getting. It wasn’t about how much rest I was getting. It was about how I was resting.

When I had adrenal fatigue, I knew logically that getting rest was imperative. I was sleeping 12 hours a night, having naps during the day and I was still tired. I wasn’t resting in the way that I needed to.

One of the reasons I wasn’t resting as well as I could is because of a belief I had. Because my pattern in the past had been pushing myself, overdoing and achieving to prove my worth, I believed that if I was not “doing” then I was being lazy.

So even though I was lying down resting because I know I needed to, I would still be thinking that I should be doing something. Taking time for myself and not checking off the to do list was not proving my value or worth. My value was attached to what I was doing instead of who I was being. That’s what I thought.

I wasn’t giving myself full on permission to rest. What I know now is that rest and rejuvenation are not a luxury. It’s not about working really really hard and then resting. It’s not about having to deserve it. They aren’t a luxury. They are a necessity.

It’s important to keep filling our tank and replenishing or we end up in resentment, burnout and not really giving a shit!

So even though I was resting my body, I hadn’t given myself full permission to and my mind kept thinking about what I should do instead. My body was resting but my mind wasn’t.

I was also not very present. If I was thinking about the past or worrying about the future, I was up in my head and not in the present moment. Presence is being in your body, being in tune with what is going on inside of you and allowing yourself to be quiet. That’s when we receive the messages from our innate body wisdom and we hear our soul and the divine speaking to us. It’s not when we are rushing around being busy.

True resting is giving yourself full permission to do so without judgement, being present in the moment allowing yourself to fully let go and resting both your body and your mind.

Half-assed rest is judging yourself for resting, thinking about what you should be doing instead and not being present in your body.

I notice that when I still engage in the habit of half-assed rest, I will be lying in bed resting my body but will still be on my phone. Nothing changes in how my body is feeling. There is a level of tension still in my body.

When I put my phone down, allow my mind to rest and just breathe, my body relaxes at a whole other level and I receive the rejuvenation deeply. If my mind is engaged, I’m not fully relaxing into my body.

Rest and multitasking do not mesh!

The benefits of giving yourself full permission to rest with presence are feeling more grounded, more connected, more centred, more peaceful and relaxed, more open to receive and your in your heart.

I don’t feel that with half-assed rest.

The invitation is to look at how you are resting. Are you getting half-assed rest? Maybe you aren’t resting at all. Without judging yourself, what small changes can you make so that you can receive rest that rejuvenates you deeply and fills your tank?

Much love,


An Energetic Clearing With Light Language for Co-dependence

Have you ever felt the need to be needed by someone? I have and I wasn’t aware of it for such a long time. To be needed made me feel significant and wanted, like I mattered and was important.

Now I feel that way just as I am, without someone needing me although I do have my moments where my ego wants to be recognized and validated because I am human after all.

There is such a sense of freedom though when I am good within myself regardless of my environment. I feel like the sovereign being that I am instead of relying on validation from another person.

Watch the video below as Arica X Dale and I engage in an energetic clearing of the pattern of co-dependence with a light language transmission to help activate it at a cellular level. You may not even be aware of whether you have this co-dependence pattern until you hear some real life examples.

Freedom from within awaits you!

Much love,


Where Do We Find Joy?

Does joy seem elusive to you sometimes? I know it has for me.

I remember 4 years ago when I realized that I had been pushing my way through life, checking off the boxes, moving from one achievement to the next hoping that all I wanted to feel, including joy, would show up with the next “success”. If only I could cross that elusive finish line…

Ya, there is no finish line to cross. It was definitely “I’ll be happy when…” syndrome.

What I realize now is that joy was always available to me but because I was living up in my head, trying to figure everything out and get it right, I was disconnected from my body and my emotions.

And when someone is in their head a lot, they are typically trying to avoid hurts from the past or worrying about the future.

Joy does not live in your head. It lives in your body.

So how the heck do we access that joy?

One way is presence, being in the present moment. You can use your 5 senses to help you be aware of where you are at right now.

What are you hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling and feeling? Becoming aware of these senses helps you be in your body, in a feeling state vs thinking and it brings you to this moment now.

When I was in my hyper-doing state, I was oblivious to how my body was feeling because I was so up in my head.

To be clear, I am not advocating that we don’t do anything. What I am supporting is taking some time to check in with yourself throughout the day. Where are you at? How are you feeling? Are you running on autopilot or are you present? How are you being as you are doing?

When I began disentangling myself from my proactive pattern of serial achieving and doing doing doing, I was advised to do what I love, do what makes me feel good.

I didn’t have a flipping clue!!!! What do you mean what feels good, what brings me joy? What do I love other than people and helping them????? Seriously. It was a tough question for me to answer. I had spent so much time working at being “better” that I had lost touch with what brought me joy.

And I know I’m not alone as a lot of my clients also struggle with this.

Joy does not exist in our protective patterns. It is experienced through being the truth of who we are instead of who we believe we need to be in order to stay safe, accepted, wanted and loved.

Our brains are also wired to take in the negative more than the positive as a form of safety. Dr. Rick Hanson, a psychologist, says in his book, Hardwiring Happiness, that the brain is like velcro to negative thoughts and is like teflon to positive ones, slips right off.

And we’ve all experienced when we can be given 9 positive accolades but it’s the one negative criticism that we hold onto.

Well shit! Are we doomed then?

Nope. There’s this thing called neuroplasticity where we can change our brains, rewire them.

One of the ways he suggested is that when a positive experience is occurring, take at least 20 seconds to really take it in, to really feel it. The more often we do this, the more the brain will rewire and our focus will be more on looking for the positive.

This relates to being in the present moment. When you are taking a shower, are you rushing through it or are you present to the water falling on your skin, the feel of your fingers massaging your scalp, the scent of the soap and shampoo?

When you are eating a meal, are you present to the taste and texture of the food or are you wolfing down on the run trying to get to the next activity?

When you are having a conversation with a loved one, are your present with them, wanting to receive and understand what they are saying or are you up in your head trying to figure out what to make for dinner?

When you are walking in the woods, are you allowing yourself to be activated by the trees, feeling the peace and the aliveness in your cells and taking that into the rest of your day or are you focused on getting your walk in quickly and then going right back to the chaos that you were trying to take a break from?

The joy resides in these little moments of presence, of being in our bodies and feeling the gifts that our senses give to us.

It is such a great place to start. And then from there, we can go beyond our human senses and connect with the divine energy of GUS (God/Universe/Source) that is in us, all around us, that is us. That bring me so much joy and is part of my daily practice. But that is for another day…

On a walk with my hubby, Tom, this past weekend, I was sharing with him a question that I was curious about because I wanted to hear his opinion.

The question was “how do I stop the pattern of trying to control and push and try to get somewhere and what do I do instead?”

In all his wisdom (Yes my hubby is a very wise man!), he said “Enjoy the moment and if you aren’t enjoying it, find a way to”.

And to take it a step further for me, it is to stop being in my head trying to figure shit out, drop down into my body, be in my heart, be in the present moment and allow myself to be given to.

It is there that I find my friend Joy.

Much love,


The Perfect Storm of Burnout

Do you go nutso with making changes once the new year hits? I did and it resulted in, well…the perfect storm of burnout! So I have spent the past couple of months in recovery mode.

In the video, discover some forms of stress you may not have considered, what led to my burnout, what I have learned and how I am recovering. Knowing different forms of stress can help you avoid experiencing burnout and help you feel how you want to feel instead.

Much love,


My Soul’s Asking Through My Body

This is a picture of me 3 yrs ago taken by Jennifer Hough near Mt Tremblant, Quebec.

We were on one of our retreats that was a part of a year long program called Flight School with Jen and The Wide Awakening crew.

This was a very poignant time in my life. So many awarenesses came to me. I still look back at my journal notes from that retreat and remember all the little gems.

It was the place and time where I realized the gift that I am. I can really see it in others but couldn’t see it in myself. It took 13 soul family members sitting around a table, relentlessly drilling into to me. Yep, I am that stubborn. But I finally got it and am so grateful for that.

It was also the time where I received the news of my 4th and 5th melanoma diagnosis. Not great news but it was a part of my next realization which was huge.

With the help of Jen and my soul family, I realized that I had been surviving my life and not doing a great job at it. My striving and pushing my way through life, trying to prove myself and constantly be more, had taken a toll on my health and well being.

My body had been telling me all along that I was stressed and living out of alignment but I wasn’t able to listen because I thought that how I felt was “normal”. That’s how sneaky chronic stress is.

In addition to the melanomas, I now had adrenal fatigue. This was a turning point in my life because I had the deep knowing that if I didn’t stop surviving my life, I was on my way to leaving this planet too soon.

So began my journey of disentangling from the patterns of “gotta get it right”, trying to prove myself, people pleasing and putting everyone else first and myself last.

And this journey is far from being a straight line. I’m in survival mode, I’m out of survival mode. I’m engaging in the patterns, I’m not engaging in the patterns. But I’m not engaging in my patterns and surviving as much as I used to. And when I do engage in a pattern, I don’t stay there as long. My body won’t let me.

Each time I engage in one of my protective patterns, I learn something more. I learn more about myself and am able to help others at a deeper level.

So I find myself back in fried adrenal land. It truly feels like shit and holy cow, the self judgement and shame came out in full force. “Not again!!!!!” And yep, I engaged with it and cried for a full day.

Now I can see that it isn’t the same thing again. This time is different. I am not the same person I was 3 yrs ago. I know how I ended up in this state and what to do. And I just know that I will learn even more and have more awarenesses come my way. I already have.

I am being asked to let go of what I think I should do and how I have done things up until this point, to not knowing and not having the answers and allowing myself to dance with the universe instead of trying to lead all the time. Tuning into my intuition at an even deeper level is presenting for me instead of trying to figure everything out. It’s not easy and a little bit scary but I am willing.

It is also a beautiful opportunity for me to love myself even more. After dropping the initial self judgement, I am in a tender place of acceptance and love. I am full circling the retreat 3 yrs ago as I remember the gift that I am in my beingness, not in my doing.

This journey is so not a straight path. We move forward, we fall down, we get back up again and so it continues. And each time we fall down, we learn and we grow and we come home to ourselves even more.

Everything is for us and this is for me too, even though I don’t like it, especially because I don’t like it. 😊💖

Much love,


An Important Part of Connecting…

Communication is so important in relationships. When relationships break up or don’t go well, it is often due to a communication breakdown.

We communicate in many different ways but today I am going to talk about verbal communication.

Verbal communication involves speaking and listening. We hear a lot about being honest, speaking your truth and fully expressing yourself and I agree 100%.

What we don’t hear as much about is listening.

The first concept about listening that really changed listening for me is “listen with the intent to understand instead of trying to be understood”.

Listen like you really want to get what the other person is experiencing. Really be curious and interested in understanding them at a deeper level.

It really is about receiving another person. Give them the gift of being heard and wanting to understand them. We all want to be seen and heard.

And while I don’t believe we can completely understand another person and their experience because we aren’t them, we can listen to try and understand the best that we can. Just the intention of doing so is a big gift.

To be clear, this isn’t about agreeing with someone. It is about trying to see another’s perspective.

Instead, what we tend to do is while someone is speaking, we think about what we are going to say in response. We think “what is the right thing to say? Do I have an answer?”

This takes us away from truly listening. It diverts our attention to thinking about a response instead of receiving the other person.

Another thing we tend to do is get caught up in being understood and getting our point across so we often interrupt them.

I am fortunate (although it doesn’t feel like it at times:)) to live with a husband and 2 daughters who are my biggest teachers.

If my daughter is talking and I can see that she is getting more and more worked up, I interrupt her in attempts to avoid a melt down. This is all about my own self-preservation because I don’t want to have to deal with the melt down.

As soon as I interrupt her, she says “Mom, I am not finished. You are not listening to me!!!!”

Yep, she is right. I am not listening to her, just trying to avoid being with her heightened emotions.

Years ago at a WarriorSage Illumination Intensive Retreat, I learned a process that has been so helpful in deepening my listening skills. It is called a dyad.

A dyad is a communication between 2 people. One person is speaking and the other is listening. It isn’t a conversation. The listening partner only says “thank you”. There are other guidelines as well but that is the simplification of it.

I love this process because when I am speaking, I know I am not going to receive advice or the opinion of my partner. It is an opportunity for me to speak my truth and be heard. I also love being the listening partner because my only focus is to listen to and receive my partner and say thank you.

You can arrange this with someone in your life as an actual process or just begin to listen and have your only response be “thank you” unless you are asked for your perspective.

I invite you to give it a try and see what you think.

The second concept that was a game changer for me in the realm of listening is also from an Illumination Intensive.

We were having lunch and we were asked to only speak about ourselves and our process. A staff member sat at each table.

What the staff member said has stuck with me ever since. He said “since we are all from God/Universe/Source (GUS) and of GUS, then anyone speaking to you is GUS speaking to you”.

For the rest of the retreat, I listened differently. Instead of being caught up in my own stuff, I listened as if I was being given a message. I was fully present and receiving the person sitting across from me.

In doing so, I received so many gems of wisdom. Since everything is for me (and you), then everyone I meet and what they say to me is for me in some way. If I am not present and truly listening, I will miss out.

By being really present and listening with the intent to understand, we are giving the gift of receiving someone and in that receiving, we are being given to at the same time. It’s a beautiful full circle.

Are you listening well?

Much love,


Navigating Relationships with Family Members

For some people, relationships with family members can be triggering and not so enjoyable.

This is partly due to core wounding experiences we had as children and partly due to the protective patterns we have adopted in attempts to stay safe and loved.

This video will discuss these points in more depth and what to do to navigate these relationships with more ease and enjoyment.

Much love,