My Birthday Wish…

Photo by Nicole Constante

Saturday was my 49th birthday. As I embark on this 50th year of living this lifetime in this body, I decided to pull an oracle card because that’s how I roll.

Quan Yin is one of my gals so I turned to her for some guidance with my Kuan Yin Oracle cards by Alana Fairchild. I asked for the message that will inspire me forward this year, the message that I can return to over and over again when I can’t see the sun for the clouds.

I pulled the Ivory Swan Goddess card.

This is her message:

“The Ivory Swan Goddess speaks of spiritual grace and purity. The purity of your Soul light never fades, beloved. Release guilt, shame, judgement or fear that you are not enough in any way, so that you may realize your beauty, be more of yourself and shine your divine essence into the world.”

And because we are all microcosms of the macrocosm living in a fractal universe, this message is for you as well.

This resonated deeply with me especially in relation to my last post when I wrote about shame.

The timing is also perfect as we stepped through the 11:11:11 portal on Nov.11, 2018. This portal is one of shedding the shame, the condemnation, the self-criticism and judgement, our egoic patterns of protection and allowing ourselves to open to receive the love, grace and abundance that we desire and is our natural birthright. It is a time to step out of the illusion of who we thought we were and come home to the truth of who we are.

The message continues…”No matter what has happened in your life, or what experiences or choices you have made, your Soul light is as pure as the divine source itself, because essentially that is what it is! There is no need for spiritual shame or inadequacy. The light within all of us is exactly the same. We are just in different stages of realizing it.”

We can choose what we focus on, where we source from. We can choose to let love make our choices for us or to let fear by the driving force.

For me, this message is a reminder to not only accept and love the truth of who I am, my divine light, but to honour and revere it, to treat it as sacred.

It is remembering that the sun is always there, even when it is covered by the clouds and we can’t see or feel it.

It is remembering that no matter what struggle or suffering we may be experiencing, our soul, our divine light is ever present and we can source from it in every moment.

So my birthday wish for everyone, myself included, is that we believe in the purity and beauty of the truth of who we are instead of the illusion of not-enoughness and unworthiness. It is time to revere the divine energy within us with unconditional love and self-acceptance. And it’s time to see it in each other.

Let’s let love win and shift the planet while we’re at it!

Much love,

Glenda 💖

The way to more joy…

Shame. It’s pervasive. It’s in the collective and is coming up to leave.

I’ve been dancing with this emotion myself the last couple of weeks.

Shame is not something people like to talk about. Why? Because it is uncomfortable and doesn’t feel good.

We’ve all had moments when we’ve felt shame and we do our darndest not to be with it.

Shame is the densest, lowest vibrational frequency emotion there is. Carrying shame within us gets in the way of us being able to feel joy to the extent that we are capable of.

While guilt is about “I did something bad”, shame is “I am bad”. It is very linked to believing that you aren’t enough, that something is inherently wrong with you.

We have all been shamed and we have been the ones doing the shaming. It is a learned behaviour, one that we learned as kids.

Parents, teachers, employers etc. have used shaming for years as a way to get someone to behave the way they want them to. We do it unconsciously. It is what we have learned. It is an egoic protective mechanism to keep us feeling in control and safe.

Talking about and shining a light on shame brings it into our awareness so that we have choice. We have choice about what we do when we feel shame.

Last week, shame was surfacing for me big time. There were places I knew I was carrying shame and places that I had no idea shame existed.

It was coming up to leave. I let myself be with it, let myself feel it, as uncomfortable as it was.

And instead of letting that emotion take me out, believing that there was something wrong with me, I forgave myself each time it surfaced and loved myself instead.

I loved myself at all ages from being a little girl up to now. All those times I blamed myself for not “getting it right”. All those times I blamed or shamed someone else. I forgave it all and felt love and compassion for myself. Instead of believing that there is something wrong with me, I remembered the truth that I am a whole and complete being. We all are.

I have come out the other side and I feel different. I feel lighter and that voice that beats myself up is not speaking right now.

There is no need to shame anyone, ever. It is time that we un-learn shaming and replace it with letting love win instead.

It is time. New, higher vibrational frequencies are coming through to this planet right now. We are being upgraded which means that the low vibrational emotions that we are carrying are coming into our awareness, hence the shame surfacing.

If we allow ourselves to feel them, let them move through us and don’t engage with them, they will leave us, expanding our capacity to be with more of the higher frequency emotions such as joy, love and gratitude.

Let’s bring shame into our awareness so we can choose love instead. It is the way forward for humanity. Our children deserve that. We all do. ❤

Much love,

Glenda

Why Receiving is So Important

I was asked by a client about whether it is ok to have a self care day and not feel guilty about it. Now you may say, of course it is, but there are many people, myself included, who have a pattern of over-giving at the cost of our wellbeing because we thought we had to in order to receive love. So the thought of giving yourself time to nurture and relax and take care of yourself can bring up a lot of fear.

Here is my response to her question and why it is not only ok to receive but that it is necessary…

My First Podcast!!!!!

I had so much fun being interviewed by Lynn Profitt from Living Currents Life Coaching on her Mind Blowing Energy & You Podcast. It was my first one but definitely won’t be the last one because I had such a great time.

We discussed how your body is your best friend, body wisdom, epigenetics and all things energy.

Check it out here and if it resonates with you, please share so we can spread the word about partnering with your body on this life journey!

 

Embracing the Meh

Are you an all or nothing person? I am or at least that is a pattern of mine. I tend to be all in or all out. And if you don’t have this pattern, you probably know someone who does and this may shed some light and give you a deeper understanding of them.

I recently had a two week period where I was really busy. It was all good stuff but I was still tired afterwards. So I purposely dialled things back the week after, knowing I needed some down time.

Now you’d think that would be a time that I would rest and relax and enjoy myself. I did rest and I did relax but guess what?

I didn’t feel great.

I felt flat. I felt meh. My ego even convinced me that I was bored. It was yipping at me to go and do something, do something to feel inspired again.

And that is what I have done in the past, jumped into action to feel that high of giving it all, being all in.

Oh ya and let’s throw some judgement in the mix, judging myself for not doing, not feeling inspired, not doing the thing. Let’s resist the heck out of relaxing and recovering.

So during my meh week, I got my butt down for a walk in the ravine. It is my happy place and yet I was resistant to going. It was cold, -19 degrees C but so beautiful with a sunny blue sky and the recent snow looked gorgeous on the trees.

As I was walking, I was contemplating this pattern of mine. I heard woodpeckers pecking away at the trees and bold little squirrels and chickadees ran and flew around me. I let nature grab my attention and I kept walking.

At one point, I sat on a bench overlooking the creek with the sun in my face. I closed my eyes and sat still, listening to all the sounds.

And then it hit me. This all or nothing pattern of mine is actually how I work best. It’s how I function well. And instead of judging it and judging myself for not being able to operate well in between the all or nothing, maybe I should be embracing it and working with it.

I get inspired and serve and be busy for a bit and then I retreat and rest and recuperate until I am replenished to give again. While I am in the “all in” state, I can still be looking after myself and engage in self care so that I don’t get so depleted and when in my retreat phase, I can still do some things but have self care be the top priority.

I realize now that feeling Meh is my signal to engage in radical self care. It isn’t something to judge myself about or to let my ego convince me I need to jump into action instead. It’s a signal to relax and rejuvenate even more.

Being in a relaxed state is the state of receiving and this is what I have been robbing myself of by pushing myself instead of slowing down.

What I noticed when I was giving myself radical self care is that abundance kept showing up. After going to an evening yoga class, I discovered that I had been sent money. The next day after working in the morning with a client, I decided to lie down for a bit before taking my girls to dance class. When i got up, I discovered that more money had been sent to me. After being out in nature the next day, someone contacted me out of the blue who wanted to work with me. Hmm…me thinks there is a pattern here.

If we are constantly in the push, in the doing state, we aren’t able to receive the way we are in the down time of rest.

So the meh state is actually necessary and not just a luxury. It is a big part of the giving/receiving cycle.

And it is also where inspiration to create appears again.

As I was walking back through the ravine, I looked up and saw 3 beautiful woodpeckers, black and white with gorgeous red heads. I stopped and just stayed with them for a bit.

When I got home, I looked up the woodpecker animal totem meaning. It said many things but this is the line that grabbed me: “Woodpecker comes with the message that you have the foundation and it is now safe for you to follow your own rhythms.”

Thank you woodpeckers for your validation of my embracing my all or nothing pattern! Meh is now my friend, the friend who gently nudges me and says “Hey Glenda, time to give yourself what you need even more.” I sure do love making new friends:)

So Lovelies, if you have the all or nothing pattern, I invite you to fully embrace it and work with it instead of resisting it. Be fully in while looking after yourself when you are inspired and rest and have self care be your top priority when you are in down time. Both phases are important and necessary.

Much love,

Glenda

How I Was Choked Into Love, Literally – A Story of Transmuting Fear Into Love

This is a story I haven’t told too many people. It’s a bit of a crazy story and one that has made me cringe a little when I wonder what people will think. I was telling it to a client last week and I kept getting the message that it needs to be shared.

I tried to sit down and write it but was met with a lot of resistance. Then I got the message that I needed to tell it myself and not just write it.

So I did a Facebook live about it and have included the youtube video for those of you who haven’t seen it. It has a powerful message so stay tuned to the end.

So at the risk of appearing a little cray cray….here it is.

Much love,

Glenda

You Get What You Give

During this week of American Thanksgiving, I’ve been receiving a lot of emails in my inbox where people are giving their products and services at a reduced rate or even for free. They are very generous gestures and yet my attention is being diverted towards receiving.

Receiving has been coming up in my coaching sessions with several people and one of my beautiful friends texted me yesterday asking me “what does it mean to receive? How do you receive?” They are great questions and they inspired me to spend some time contemplating them so I thought I would share what has come to me.

First of all, how you do one thing is how you do everything so when we are discussing the action of receiving, it doesn’t really matter whether we are talking about receiving love, receiving support, receiving money…. They are one in the same. They all involve an exchange of energy.

From an energetic perspective, giving is energy going out and receiving is energy coming in. It appears to be very simple, and it is and yet we human beings have found a way to complicate it. We have found a way to get in the way of our receiving.

Now why the heck would we do that? Once again it is happening at a subconscious level and we aren’t aware we are doing that until we are. So becoming aware of our particular flavour of resisting is very helpful because then we have choice to do things differently.

Underneath the resistance, which I’ll get to in a minute, is a fear. Let’s use money as an example. For some people, the thought of receiving a lot of money, more money than they are used to, brings up fears of not knowing how to manage it or of having increased responsibility as a result.

This fear may sound crazy to you but I had a big fear about receiving love. I was afraid that if I let in all the love that was being given to me, that it would take me over and I would disappear. It would annihilate me. I’d end up in a weeping mass on the floor. Crazy huh?

And yet these fears can feel really real and they cause us to protect ourselves so we can be safe (perceptively).

So how do we get in the way of receiving? What causes us to resist being given to?

It’s our protective mechanisms that we took on as children. It’s beliefs about we took on about ourselves, life and how we had to be in the world to stay safe, loved and not abandoned that then caused us to adopt habitual ways of being that aren’t who we really are.

One belief that I adopted in order to stay safe and loved by my parents was that I had to do everything myself and not need any attention. This belief led to me being super independent, self-sufficient and never asking for help. Was help and assistance available? You bet. In fact, it was offered to me time and time again but I wouldn’t let it in. I resisted receiving because if I did, then someone would get hurt and it would be my fault and then I wouldn’t be loved. Was that belief true? No. But as a little 4 year old, through little 4 year old eyes, I perceived it to be true.

So you can see that me allowing myself to receive support hasn’t come easily. I have worked on it consciously and now I am at a place where I can receive. I even ask for help now. AND…I still have my moments where I default back into believing I have to do it all on my own, because I am human after all.

For some people, they have the belief that you have to work really hard for money, that you have to earn it. So if money literally came knocking at their door, they wouldn’t allow themselves to receive it. Or if they did receive it, it would disappear very quickly and it would be as if they had never received it at all.

Then there is the well known belief that money is evil. So if you have a lot of money, then you will become a bad, stingy and greedy person. Good people don’t have a lot of money. Can you see how that false belief would keep you from receiving money?

I get that this can sound pretty crazy because there is that part of us that says, “I wouldn’t push money away. I really want to receive my soul mate. Why would I resist that?” That is your conscious mind speaking but 96% of our beliefs and thoughts are in our subconscious mind.

Maybe just take a moment and be curious instead. What if I am getting in my own way of receiving, I wonder how I am doing that? What beliefs am I holding and what protective mechanisms do I have that keep people, money, support etc. out? You can’t receive the answers unless you ask the questions. Be curious instead of making this something wrong with you. These are just the patterns of the human experience that we all have.

Are you ultra independent, doing it all yourself? Are you afraid you can’t handle what could come to you? Do you worry you will screw it up? Are you stuck in victim mode because you don’t want the responsibility of getting yourself out of a not so great situation? These are just a few of them. What are your habitual ways of being? Do you judge a lot? Complain a lot? Make assumptions? People please? Put everyone else first and yourself last?

When we are willing to get really honest with ourselves and look at what might be in the way, we receive opportunities to make changes that will lead to us being able to receive in the way we desire. It truly is fascinating to understand what makes us tick and behave in the ways we do.

And the best part is…the protective mechanisms are not who we really are. They are just behaviours we thought we had to take on to stay safe. And maybe they were what we needed to do as kids. But now as adults, they actually push away the very things we desire – love, support, abundance.

So what’t the answer? We can spend forever and a day analyzing the protective mechanisms and why we took them on but that doesn’t help us receive. What helps us receive is getting into our hearts.

Protective mechanisms are all about safety. They are derived from fear. So you have to decide if you want to life a safe life or an abundant life, a life or survival or a life of thriving, a life lived from fear or a life lived from love.

How do we get into our hearts? Well, it’s not being up in our heads being mental about it and trying to use logic to figure it out. Getting into your heart can be as simple as a random act of kindness. It could be giving someone a compliment. It could be writing out a thank you note. It could be asking a cashier how his/her day is going? It could be any act in response to the question “what would love do?”. And that includes what would love do for yourself. It includes giving to yourself as well as others. For those of you who have always put others first at the cost of your own wellbeing, maybe start with giving love to yourself first. Your energy exchange is out of balance, it is more energy out than in so give to yourself and fill up your tank.

Now you may be saying, Glenda, I thought we were talking about receiving here and now you are saying to get into our hearts and give. What’s up with that?

What I have come to know is that both giving and receiving require an open heart. To give, your heart must be open and to receive your heart must be open. An open heart requires dropping the protection, letting the walls down, allowing ourselves to feel and be vulnerable. Not letting ourselves feel is placing our hearts on lock down.

One of my teachers taught me a long time ago that if you desire to receive something, then give it. If you truly desire to receive love, then give love instead of protecting yourself from the possibility of getting hurt.

And this whole safety issue, of keeping ourselves protected and safe, it is an illusion. These protective mechanisms don’t really keep us safe at all. Our egos just have us believing that to be true. The safest place is actually in our hearts. It is where home is. It is where our love and our knowing is. That is the truth.

To wrap it all up, true receiving requires, being in our hearts, doing what love would do, giving to ourselves and others, letting ourselves feel and allowing ourselves to be given to.

I would love to hear what your thoughts are about receiving in the comments below. And if you are curious about how you may be resisting receiving, email me at glenda@freedomfromwithin.net and we can set up a time to explore together.

Happy Thanksgiving/Thanksreceiving to my American friends! In the spirit of this time, may all our hearts open a little more today.

Much love,

Glenda

The antidote to stress…you may be surprised

The response to acute stress is normal. It is necessary. It keeps us alive. That is its job. Stress is when your brain and body are knocked out of balance. The stress response is what your body does innately to bring it back to order.

Acute stress doesn’t last. Something triggers the stress response. Then the stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol are released into the blood stream. Blood is shunted to our limbs and our heart rate increases to help us get the heck out of dodge. And then when the stressor or danger is no longer present, our heart rate slows, blood is returned to our “non-essential” digestive and reproductive organs and our blood chemistry returns to normal, we come into balance and we feel relaxed again.

That is a normal response to stress. The problem occurs when stress becomes chronic. I know this all too well as a result of the pressure I have put on myself for the majority of my life, playing the “I gotta get it right” game.

Chronic stress is when we can’t turn the stress response off. We can live in this chronic stress mode for quite a long period of time until our bodies can’t cope any more and it affects the way our systems function. Living in emergency mode (chronic stress) for an extended period of time leads to disease. Period. The hormones of stress push the genetic buttons that create disease.

I didn’t even know I was living with chronic stress. It is that sneaky. It flies just under the radar. And I wasn’t listening to all the symptoms my body was giving me, such as fatigue, pain, tension, digestive and hormonal issues, skin cancer…

But I don’t want to stay focused on what chronic stress is. I want to focus on what to do to come back into balance.

There are a few antidotes to stress but the one that has meant the most to me is love and connection.

Feeling stressed is a very lonely experience, even if you are surrounded by people. When you are stressed, you are in your own little world, very self focused because you are, after all, in survival mode. I felt very alone at times and that it was all up to me to take care of and no one would understand what I was feeling.

That feeling of separation is an ego construct. The stressed state is not the truth of who you are. It is the ego’s way of having you feel separate, of feeling alone. It feels very very real but it isn’t true. When you feel stressed, you don’t tend to socialize or connect with people as much and it feels lonely.

What I have come to know is that me reaching out and connecting, me getting into my heart and asking what would love do has been my way out of the stress forest. It changed my blood chemistry from stress to bonding. Oxytocin is released into the blood stream during a hug and when a mother breast feeds. It is a bonding hormone that makes you feel good. It counters the affects of the stress hormones. It is a great example of how love and connection are an antidote.

When I am connecting with others at a heart level, I feel relaxed and really good. Life flows better and is way more enjoyable. It is the opposite of the separation I feel with the fear/stress response.

I had a realization last week that I talked to my husband about. We are both really good at giving each other space to work through whatever is going on for us. We take full responsibility for how we are feeling and we have faith in each other to do what we need to in order to move through things. We don’t need to save one another. What I realized though is that I feel very alone when I do that as I tend to isolate myself. So I told him that I would love us to really stay connected and communicate even more when each of us is moving through something. We can still do what we need to on our own and stay connected at the same time. It will require some practice as isolation is quite an ingrained pattern of mine.

So the next time you feel separate or alone, your system is likely stressed and instead of focusing on reducing stress, put your attention on love and connection. What you put your attention on grows. Reach out to family or friends. Look people in the eye and smile when you see them walking down the street or in line at the grocery store. Make a stranger’s day by asking them how their day is going. Or maybe the connection that is needed is with yourself, giving yourself some love and connecting with what you need to feel good. There is no need to be an island unto yourself.

Love and connection is how you shift from survival stress mode into thriving and enjoyment. Who’s day can you make today?

Much love,

Glenda