One of my good friends let me know that I was dropping the ball in our relationship.
Ya it felt like a punch to the gut but I also knew that this was one of my ingrained patterns showing up.
It shows up in other relationships too and of course the relationship with myself.
It’s my pattern of not completing cycles or not following through. I am great at starting things but not finishing them.
I let myself feel the sadness, guilt, fear etc and then realized that I was also being triggered by my belief that I gotta get things right and here was one more thing that I was crapping the bed on.
Underneath it all was me not feeling good enough and not being worthy to receive what comes to me if I were to complete the cycle.
And then I saw that I was believing that following through and completing things would deplete and exhaust me and I didn’t want to experience that again.
The actual truth is that me not completing things is leaking my energy through the hole that is created by an incomplete circle.
I am so grateful for the wake up call from my friend even though it felt super uncomfortable at the time.
Bringing it to my attention so that I can have these deeper awarenesses is allowing me to choose differently.
I could take personal responsibility for my actions which I hadn’t been doing before that.
And it led to a heart felt conversation and deeper understanding and connection between us.
These conversations aren’t easy but so worth it in the end.