This past weekend, I turned 50. The big 5-0. A half century.
I’ll admit I got a little caught up in the hype that society puts on turning 50.
My eldest daughter, Sophia, even said “Mom, I want to do even more things together. You know, while you still can.”
Society tells us that it is all downhill from here. Your body will start falling apart if it hasn’t already. It’s quite the belief system.
And then there’s my little one, Julianna, who said “I am sad that you’re turning 50 Mom. I don’t want you to die in 50 years!”
I kinda like her perspective, don’t you?
Here’s the thing. Age is what you believe it to be. To me, it really is just a number. It’s not a reflection of where you are in life. Some people are grandparents at 50 whereas others, like myself, still have kids in elementary school.
Some people have grey hair in their 30s whereas I only have a few at 50.
We get to choose our perspective about age and ageing.
My dad turns 78 this January. He continues to ride his road bike every summer and despite having “slowed down” (his words), he managed to get his 1000 miles in before he had to put his bike away.
Seriously, that is 1000 miles more than I rode!
He is not letting his age define what he can and can’t do.
Years ago, I was at a talk by Gregg Braden. He is a scientist and was fascinated by people who live to be over 100 years old. He travelled the world and interviewed many of them, asking them what they believed was the “secret” to their longevity. They all said that it was the love in their hearts, be it love for their family or love for humanity in general.
The human heart is actually built to last 120 years. Really. Have that be your belief instead of life is downhill after 50 because what you believe, you conceive.
So why do so many people die much earlier? We are buying into society’s perspective and we are dying of broken hearts.
What is breaking our hearts, is not allowing ourselves to be with and feel our emotions. Not opening our hearts for fear of getting hurt. Keeping walls up to protect ourselves.
Emotions are meant to move. They are energies in motion. But we often don’t let ourselves feel them because they are uncomfortable and we judge them and ourselves. We think it isn’t safe to feel.
Or we feel them but keep them from moving through us because we keep holding onto them, making up a story about them, making them mean something that isn’t even true.
The problem is that these emotions stay stuck and stagnant in our bodies and cause dysfunction and disease.
Loving requires an open heart. Giving and receiving requires and open heart. And yes, we may open ourselves up to being hurt but we also open ourselves up to giving and receiving even more love.
I really believe that is what we are here to do and giving/receiving even more love is required for humanity to shift and change. It’s required for humanity to continue to exist.
So whether you are looking at it from a personal perspective about your own health and well being or from a more global perspective about shifting humanity, it is so important that we take down the walls, open our hearts and allow ourselves to feel.
I get that it may not feel safe and you may not know how to do that, especially if you were taught that it is bad to express your emotions. I didn’t know. I didn’t even know that I had walls up. But I’ve learned what to do and now I help others do the same in a safe space with kindness and compassion.
If this resonates with you and you are desiring to open your heart even more, to live a longer and richer life, find someone like myself or someone else who can help you.
It’s important. It is necessary and it will allow you to truly live the rest of your life, however long it may be, instead of trying to survive it.