Have you ever said no to something right away because it creates fear in you or you just can’t see a way it is possible? I would fathom a guess that I have done this hundreds of times. It is a safety issue, a protective mechanism because if we say “no” then nothing changes and everything stays the same. It is comfortable. It is our egos doing a bang up job of keeping us safe.
The problem is that when we allow the ego to run the show and say “no” right off the bat, we are limiting ourselves from experiencing the possibilities that life has to offer. We stay safe, in the middle zone, where it is comfortable and where we feel we have control. It may keep us from feeling the discomfort of grief or anger or fear AND it also keeps us from experiencing the joy and love and peace that is available to us. You can’t just stop the “bad” feelings and experience the “good” ones at the other end of the spectrum. Sometimes, experiencing the “good” feelings comes through feeling the uncomfortable ones first. Living life is about the totality of the full spectrum of emotions that we as humans, get to experience.
Here is a different way to live that I have been playing with recently. When something shows up in my awareness, I say “yes” to it. Because God/Universe/Source (GUS) is constantly conspiring for us, I believe that whatever comes into my awareness/reality is for me is some way. It is for my highest and best good. I say “yes” until it becomes a clear “yes” or a clear “no”. So this doesn’t mean that the path that presents is the right one all the time but we won’t know until we take that first step. It’s about taking the steps forward until you become clear about staying on the path or taking another one. There are no mistakes. If it isn’t the right path, you will be redirected.
What we like to do and what feels safe is to be clear about whether this is the right path before we take the first step. But it is like waiting to feel confident before taking that first step. Confidence comes from taking action. It is a result of taking those steps forward. Waiting for confidence to show up first is ass-backwards! GUS rewards action. Taking action tells GUS that you are ready for something new and you won’t know if it is the right path until you step onto it.
So let’s say you say “yes” and start taking steps forwards to making a change or trying something new. Then what happens? All hell breaks loose! Shit hits the fan! This must mean that it is the wrong path, right? You are being given all the evidence that this is not the right way. Mmm… not so much. That so called evidence is actually evidence of your ego freaking out, of your ego having a hissy fit! Remember how much it hates the unknown and discomfort? It’s numero uno job is to keep you safe and this change stuff definitely does not feel safe. So it is going to throw all this crap at you to dissuade you from moving forward at all. In fact, it wants you to retreat back into your safety zone of “no change”.
Now what’s a girl to do? How the heck do I know whether it is the right path or not? Do I keep going forward or do I change course?
Keep moving forward until you become clear. If it truly is the wrong path, GUS will let you know again and redirect you. If it is just your ego having a tantrum, you will move through it and find it is the right path. The other option is to stop or retreat but where does that leave you? In the same place you started from. Sound kinda boring? Here’s the thing, you wouldn’t have had the desire, the thought, or the inspiration to make a change unless it was for you to do. So what if the steps aren’t linear, taking you from point A to point B? So what if there are some detours along the way? What if those detours had life experience and wisdom for you that you wouldn’t have if the path was linear?
There are no mistakes. Period. Just redirects. All is happening for our highest and best good. Don’t worry if you are making a mistake or not. Just take the steps forward and all will become clear. I promise.
This has been my journey over this past month. I have followed the “yes” I have been feeling even though it has felt uncomfortable at times, even though I have had to have courage to do so and even though some very difficult conversations have had to be had as a result. I have grown, shifted and learned so much about myself over this short period of time. Intermixed with the uncomfortable feelings has also been feelings of excitement, presence, fulfillment and confidence. Yes, the “bad” feelings can exist at the same time as the “good” feelings. It is wholeness. It is our privilege of being human.
Feeling it all is the way to thriving in life instead of surviving. Letting go of the protective mechanisms like controlling, people pleasing, perfectionism, staying small, and doing everything on your own is the way. Wanna join me? What can you let go of today?