Closing a door…

You have heard me use the phrase “When one door closes, another one opens but it is hell in the hallway” before. It speaks to the discomfort of the unknown we feel in the transition phase between letting go of something old and starting something new. The not knowing is uncomfortable for us because our ego minds want to know. Thinking we know where we are heading is a form of controlling and keeping ourselves safe. It is a protective mechanism that our ego thinks will keep us from being hurt in some way. So our egos hate the unknown, hence the discomfort.

There are times when the doors close on us, when we aren’t really being given a choice. It is when we must move on to something new. It may be losing a job or a relationship ending that isn’t our choosing. We are blatantly being shown that we must let go and move on. While this doesn’t feel great, I actually prefer it because there is no second guessing, questioning whether or not to let go. It just is what it is and I can focus my energy on moving forward into something new.

What I find to be more difficult is when I am being guided to close the door myself. It’s when I have a choice about staying where I am at or closing the door and moving in a new direction. Then it is up to me to decide. This takes more courage especially when you are attached to what you are being asked to let go of. Changing direction and taking a different path isn’t always about leaving something that is “bad”. It isn’t always about leaving a “bad” relationship or a “bad” situation. It is easier when you are being asked to leave something that you don’t really like. For me, the most difficult time is when my soul is asking me to let go of something or people I love. It makes no logical sense so I can’t even wrap my head around it and give my mind peace. And try explaining it to people! I can’t even find the words other than “I just know this is right”. I can’t make people understand why I am making the choices I am. In the end, nobody can “get” it.

This is the walk when you choose to co-create with the universe. It’s when you let go of knowing at a mind level and you let go of controlling the outcomes. It’s when you let go of expectations and try to have other people understand you, never mind like you. It is when you follow your deep sense of knowing that you can’t explain. It is when you follow your “yes” until it becomes a clear yes or a clear no. It is asking for guidance and help from Source, not trying to do it all on your own. It’s when the discomfort of change begins to morph into curiosity and excitement about what is to come instead of fear and dread that keep you stuck.

I am in the process of learning and practising to live this way. Pretty well every area of my life is unknown at the moment. It doesn’t feel comfortable at all as my ego doth protest a fricking lot! Talk about a time to have so much compassion and grace for myself. It is literally like learning a new way to walk, like a toddler taking her first steps. I have to keep reminding myself to stop controlling and hand everything over to the universe. I am so used to doing it all on my own. Have done it a long time. And it has cost me in so many ways. I am no longer willing to live that way and so learning to walk again is the choice I am making.

Why am I doing this? Trying to do everything on my own has cost me my wellbeing. It has depleted my energy reserves such that I don’t have any energy left to enjoy myself. My hormones are in the tank and my nervous system has been in fight or flight (stress) mode a very long time. And we have all heard about the toll stress has on one’s health. I don’t want to wait until I have some major health issue to make the changes I am embarking on now.

I want to remember how to play. I want to have more energy and increased vitality so I can create and play and enjoy the shit out of my life. I don’t want to keep limiting the infinite possibilities that are available to me by continuing to control, judge and have expectations that I hold onto.

And so, I am letting go. I am closing some doors and am willing to be in the unknown for as long as it takes. This is the year to do it. For those of you who follow numerology, this is a “9” year. It is an ending of a cycle year with a fresh 9 year cycle beginning in 2017. I am willing to dance with the universe, responding to each other’s steps, one by one. I have help from my higher levels and from my human guides. This is not easy to do on your own and I wouldn’t recommend it. Get some guidance and support as you learn to walk a new way. Your way.

What is presenting for you to let go of? What door are you being asked to close? Are you ready and willing to be in the unknown so that your life truly thrives instead of being in survival mode and feeling “meh”? If you are, I would love to show you the way. Send me an email and let’s chat.

And if you aren’t ready to make changes and let go of your protective mechanisms, it is all good. This is a very personal decision and you will know when the time is right. You will feel it deep in your bones. Trust that. Where you are currently at in your journey is perfect. No judgement, only acceptance, compassion and love.

Until next time,

Much love,


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