Photo by Kelsey Kimmel
It hasn’t been an easy month in the Lane household. My hubby, Tom, injured his back 5 weeks ago and has been in a lot of pain that has prevented him from carrying out functions of daily living, never mind not being able to work. It has been hard to see him in pain physically, emotionally and spiritually.
We’ve been feeling all the feels – sadness, anger, fear, disappointment, frustration but they all circle around to love and compassion.
As I sat on the end of my bed this morning hugging our girls, I felt such love and gratitude for the amazing beings they are and that I get to be their mom.
They have kept me laughing throughout it all and are my inspiration for continuing to remain curious instead of having to know how this is all going to play out.
I know I’m not alone right now in living with big challenges that have cropped up. In speaking with my mentor, Jennifer Hough, she reminded me that the speed of consciousness right now is requiring us to come more and more into alignment, stop carrying others and really take a look at how we are living. What isn’t in alignment is coming up to leave, is asking for changes to be made as we are no longer going to be able to take incongruence along for the ride.
And the more we resist making changes, the bumpier the ride and the more suffering we are going to feel.
I am seeing it all around me – people I know having major challenges; A woman’s husband going to jail and her not knowing how she is going to pay her mortgage despite working 6.5 days per week, people losing their homes to fires, people having loved ones suffer significant injuries in accidents.
It doesn’t minimize my current experience but it does give me perspective and I see what is being asked of us.
We are being asked to harness the strength inside of us, to take our power back and not believe we are victims to life. Life is happening for us and not to us, even if we can’t see it.
The other option is to feel helpless and hopeless and keep asking “why is this happening to me?”. It’s a choice and it is also how we give our power away. It keeps us stuck in the problem instead of moving energy on it.
Now don’t get me wrong, I had moments of asking that question and feeling that way. You bet I did. But I didn’t stay in them because I saw very quickly that it was getting me nowhere.
So I felt those feels, let them move through me and then came to a place of calm. I asked “Now what? What is there for me to do?”
What there was for me to do was to take care of my husband and my girls, take care of myself, ask for and receive help from my cosmic helpers and my human friends.
I have asked to be shown my way through this all and I’ve been listening. What has presented is me renewing my physical therapy licence and doing some coverage this summer. What has presented is working on my coaching business and creating offerings that have been asked for for some time now.
I have been getting on my yoga mat every morning and walking in the ravine when I can. I have been connecting with friends because my pattern is to turtle and be a lone wolf when things get tough.
And I’ve not only been listening to my intuition but acting on it. The past few days have really shown me how important it is to do that.
Above it all, I know that we are being taken care of and that I am not given what I can’t handle. I have the strength to do what is needed, whether I want to or not. We all do.
Flow isn’t about life being all unicorns and rainbows. Flow is about moving in the direction that life is guiding you, moving with the universe.
A lot of the time, it isn’t to my ego’s liking and preferences. So it’s not about everything being easy and happy. Of course there are moments when it is.
The totality of being in flow encompasses how you navigate all of what life is bringing to you. It is accepting what comes your way instead of resisting it and then asking “Now what? What is there for me to do? What can I do?”
It is being in co-creation with the universe, each taking reciprocal dance steps one at a time instead of trying to make things happen all on your own and needing to know the 10 steps ahead.
What has helped me the most and kept me in universal flow?
When I feel myself going into control mode or worrying, I say to myself “Come back to your heart”. When I feel frustrated and begin asking “why?” again, I come back to my heart.
Love is always the answer. It is the way.
I often ask my higher levels to help me expand my capacity to receive. This experience has cracked my heart open even more which allows me to both give and receive in a greater way.
It has allowed me to love more of me and at a deeper level than ever before. I am accepting and embracing more of the parts of me that I deemed not ok and not safe to be as a child.
As far as strength goes, love is the most powerful energy there is. As long as love leads the way, fear can’t take hold.
So my learnings over the past month have been about being in my heart even more, listening to my intuition even more, taking care of myself even more and owning my power and strength even more to move through whatever comes my way.
It has been weeks of not knowing how this is all for me and now I finally know why.