For the past month or so, I’ve been consistently getting up at 5:30 to meditate.
It is time for me when I am the only one awake. I relax into my body and get into my heart. I feel into the places where I am holding tension and melt them with my attention and breath.
It is a time where I give myself much love and compassion, embracing the parts of me that I often push away or ignore.
It is a time where I cultivate the feelings I want to feel within me, be it love, joy, gratitude, pleasure, fulfillment. These feelings are created within me, not relying on an external source, person or circumstance for them to be present.
I give myself the gift of happiness and safety so that I don’t need my protective mechanisms from my childhood to be directing my choices and determining how I am living.
Do I still get triggered and allow my emotions to take me out?
You bet. I am on a human journey after all and so there will be times of forgetting to experience my emotions as sensations in my body and not engaging with them by making them mean something.
I had one of those days yesterday where it seemed like every little thing was pissing me off.
I had moments where I could feel that discomfort in my body but I just opened to it and breathed and didn’t engage with the irritation/frustration.
And I had moments where I yelled and projected and was in a funk.
I still react. AND I don’t react as much as I used to. I am having more and more moments of understanding and seeing what is going underneath the trigger and emotion.
One might say, “You are still reacting so the meditation isn’t working.” My ego likes that belief. And I’m choosing not to believe it because I know that it is making a difference.
I give myself freedom from within every day, first thing in the morning. It gets me out of bed early every time because I know how I feel when I don’t.
It is my choice to start each day with setting my internal compass in the direction I desire to go.
It is my choice to start the day emanating the vibrations of love and compassion and being in my heart instead of my head.
How are you choosing to start your day?
Until next time,