After a well needed holiday this summer, I am back writing my blog. I will tell you that it has not been easy. I made a commitment to myself that I would write a blog post every 2 weeks so not writing has been nagging at me. I absolutely love writing when I am inspired to write about a topic. When I am not inspired, like now, it is not much fun for me. So I made the commitment to write but also made the commitment to have a business that I love and to act from inspiration instead of pushing. This is my quandary. I decided to write about it today as I don’t think I am alone in this situation.
I get that there are parts of a job or a business that we don’t like to do but must do. Hopefully those parts are a minority of the work load rather than the majority or why the heck are we doing it? When it comes to writing my blog though, just doing it for the sake of doing it is not how I want to write. If I am not enthusiastic about it and it doesn’t have a lot of meaning that serves anyone, then what is the point? When I decided to embark on my coaching practice, I promised myself that I wouldn’t push anymore like I have done in the past. I wouldn’t try to control every little thing and I wouldn’t stress about it. I would run my business from a place of integrity, inspiration and service. I would check in with my inner guidance regularly instead of adhering to what the gurus of the coaching world tell me that I should be doing or not doing. No, I don’t want to re-invent the wheel and there is a lot of wisdom that has been imparted to me by others but I don’t feel I am here to carry out other people’s visions and dreams. I am here to express the essence of my soul’s desire, my unique vision and purpose.
So what to do when I am not receiving much direction from my inner guidance? In the past, and even now at times, my tendency is to push and make something happen outside of me, to accomplish something to make myself feel better. Instead of being quiet and still and reflecting and inquiring, I tend to push to create which feels really yucky. Now that I understand the ebb and flow of life better, the transition between reflection and creation, I am allowing myself to be led instead of pushing. Being still and being led by my soul is not easy for me. I can hear some of you perhaps saying that this is a cop out and I am hiding out. I completely get it as my ego is telling me that all the time. What I do know is that the times I have stopped moving forward and was still instead, have always served me deeply. It just feels right to me at my core, despite my head saying it is wrong. This is not about giving myself permission to do nothing. I am still doing the work of going inward regularly, re-energizing and inquiring about my next inspired step as I continue to coach my clients with my full presence.
My new commitment to myself is to be soul-led in my writing and if I’m not receiving anything at the time, I won’t push myself to write just because. My intention is to write every 2 weeks but we will see what my essence has in mind for me. I will learn something about myself regardless of the outcome so in the end, it will all work out.
Here is my invitation to you, should you chose to accept it. Where in your life are you pushing? If you want to go even deeper, why are you pushing? What pattern have you taken on in your life that has you pushing? Did you grow up thinking that you had to push, achieve or strive to be good enough? There are hidden gems for you there if you choose to look. If pushing is feeling exhausting, draining and icky, take a break from it and see what happens. It could be the very thing you need right now.